Lean In

I have been writing about remaining unbothered…

Being like a mountain pond. The wind moves over the surface. The water underneath does not move. That has been my standard.

But, I am starting to think that standard is not enough.

Here is the honest version. I am watching people around me default to negativity. Pessimism out of the gate. A cynical read on everything before they have the facts. A practiced unhappiness that has hardened into identity. It is exhausting to be around an it is contagious if you are not careful.

For a long time my move has been to let it roll off. Stay still. Be the pond. Do not absorb their weather. That works. But it has a ceiling.

Detachment is a discipline. It is also a wall. And a person who builds the wall high enough stops being able to reach anyone over it.

Perhaps I cannot let “be unbothered” be the highest goal of the day anymore. That is a defensive posture. It is what you do when you cannot afford to be moved (and I want to remain unmovable). But maybe there is more and maybe it is not what you do when you have something to give.

So this is the next move. I am going to lean in.

Not into the negativity. Into the people. Into the conversation. Into the moment that the cynic in the room wants to drag down. Stay present. Stay engaged. Bring more energy than the room is taking from me, instead of trying to be untouchable by it.

Maybe this season is a refuel. Maybe it is a test of resolve. Either way the answer is not retreat. The answer is forward (“default aggressive).

Honestly, it is a shame to watch defeatism take root in people who could choose otherwise. The disappointment is my failure-setting an unrealistic expectation of others. At the same time, it is a bigger shame to let their defeatism set the temperature of my own day.

Unbothered is the floor. It is not the ceiling.

The next standard is harder. Stay grounded enough that nothing rattles you. Stay engaged enough that you actually move the room.

Lean in.

“Do not be afraid of what may happen tomorrow. The same loving God who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow.” — Francis de Sales